Dear, it's been a year, and I

Have a lovely new bear.

1. Let's pretend that I'm the King and you're the Queen. Because we are both wearing hats.

2. Yes, I'll be the Queen.

1. And you can be Jesus.

3. Well...maybe not Jesus...

1. Because the Queen will drop her hat.

2. (Drops her hat)

1. And now Jesus has to pick it up.

3. Well...can't I just be the Queen's friend?

2. Yes, she can be my friend.

1. But we need Jesus to pick up her hat.

Silence.

3. I think I shall be the Queen's friend.

2. Yes!

3. Oh Queen, you dropped your hat! (Picks up hat).

Non-Linear Bea: Mummy Bloghead, why is photocopying so soothing - why is stapling so satisfying?

Mummy Bloghead: Because they are one of the few sensual activities permitted in a library.

"I never realised why I seem to deliberately forget or ignore the sources of all the quotes and fragments I gather...I suppose it's bad research practice, but...I really love not knowing the context of a quote. It's like a mysterious jewel that you can polish and hug and keep to yourself, delighting in its beautiful inscrutability."

Mummy Bloghead essays a blog (or blogs an essay)

1. Another crap blog.

2. Another dead blog.

3. It is not interesting to blog about your artwork!

4. Blogging 'about' is problematic.

5. A certain portent of a blog's death is its overexposure by the author before it has any real post back log or readership.

6. Especially if the first few posts are incredibly detailed, enthusiastic, and more regular than is practical.

7. A blog is not just for Christmas.

8. No one will read your blog. Deal with it. It's like publishing a zine.

9. Don't ask your friends if they read your blog. The answer will be painful. Although it is a good test of friendship. A friend who reads your blog is a good friend.

10. Use your blogs lack of audience to your own advantage: use your blog as an experimental creative space with no restrictions or consistency.

11. Consistency will come in time when you find your blog's voice. It takes a long time.

12. You have to nurture your blog like a baby. Feed it regularly.

13. Don't feed it familiar, bland foods though. Although a bit of humility is useful in establishing consistency (as well as respecting what little audience you might have), it is important to experiment with the blog's valueless space.

14. It is almost certain you don't have an audience, but if you do, respect them and give them high quality work that is as consistent as you can manage. Respect your audience and they will respect you. Also, white text on black background is unattractive and sore on the eyes, but go for it if its important to you.

15. Remember: there are very few restrictions in blogging. Be creative. Be uncreative. Experiment with authorship as form. See where tagging takes you. What about radical categories? Do you have to publish your blog on your facebook page? And radical chronology? Radical formatting? Radical html! Screengrabs! Scans! Links! Video! Broken links!...